Dealing with Tantrums over iPad and iPhone with Toddlers

The iPhone, iPad and Apple computer have revolutionized my life. So much so I even wrote a post about  Steve Jobs the day he died on how much this forward thinking individual has done for individuals and the special needs community with these devices and innovative technology. I can’t imagine my life without them and I often wonder what my son’s life will be like in 20 years because of them.

I’m an occupational therapist who works in at least 10 school buildings over the course of the week, and I manage to write for 2 websites. My husband is a photographer. Our family is thousands of dollars deep in Apple products. We both need them for our livelihood and they have become an integral part of our professional success. First we had all of these devices, then we had a baby who is now a toddler.

No matter how structured and organized we have tried to be with our iPhones and the iPad, it is a double edged sword. Netflix and Disney Junior apps in conjunction with our wireless hotspot, is a life saver on long car trips. Gavin has his own folder on the iPad with apps that are for his age. He knows it and has known where to find it for at least 8 months, and he won’t be 3 until October. Despite passcoding the device, he also knows that he can push the little phone icon on the bottom right to take pictures and scroll through the image gallery.

So now we have a parenting issue on our hand that makes me want to take these devices sometimes and chuck them out the window, like in the book “Goodnight iPad” by Ann Droyd, a humorous take on powering down taken from the age-old classic “Goodnight Moon.”  The tantrums that arrive when we’ve set a limit that the device can’t be used, or that it needs to be shut off when the show is over, can be out of control and long-lasting. The portability factor and instant gratification my iPhone provides is the issue.  Even though I’ve said no, he knows that it can be used practically anywhere and tests our limits to use it anywhere and anyhow he can.

These devices that are crucial to my work and livelihood, could potentially be the death of the relationship I have with my son and my husband, given there is so much yelling, screaming, ripping and tearing that can occur physically taking the devics away. We’ve number passcoded the devices and are trying really hard to set firm limits on when the devices can be used like only on long car trips or on special occasions outside the home, but we live in a small home and both work out of the home, which makes it hard to confine our work until after 9:30 p.m. when he finally hits the hay for good.

Several months ago I did a segment in conjunction with VTech and Better TV on kids and technology. They gave me the toddler laptop to take home and it’s pretty funny, Gavin now sits with it on his lap and says he’s doing “work.” He’s doesn’t  touch the buttons on my laptop, and I don’t touch his. There was a lot of talk in this segment for older age groups on how to develop contracts and family device time, but we aren’t in that rational stage of development yet.

I’d like to think it might be easier when he gets older and understands the consequences, but he’s amazingly driven to interact with these apps and watch Disney Junior shows like Doc McStuffins. Parenting is really hard, especially with trying to set limits, but it’s truly mentally and physically exhausting.

Anyone have any ways they limit the use of their devices at home with toddlers they feel are successful? Even if you don’t are you struggling with hard-core tantrums around iPads and iPhones in your home?

Photo credit to Derek Wilmot Photography regarding the iPad with iBallz.